The Art of Waiting

November 10th, 2008 by chrisvader

Another post created due to epic boredom. I’m currently at Caulfield Library waiting for the meeting to start. Hungry and have a lot of thoughts in my mind. I guess having the responsibility of running the MCoC (NOT Monash Code of Conduct - just testing whether you actually read the NOT part) is not an easy task even though I’m doing it as a team.

It’s been a while since the last time I had a role like this, and Deus Vult, I can do this with all my heart. After all, it relates back to God.  Mudika Choir will keep me occupied as well next semester,  so hopefully I can use my time responsibly. Less free time, but I guess using my free time with such activities is actually a good idea rather than spending too much time online and therefore reducing my chance of healing my eyes. Seriously, I can barely see without my glasses even though it’s been in a constant condition for the past 2 years.

Bettinaers : buruan ngumpul yak di Indo, kita makan2.. btw kapan mau new royal garden lageeee… cewek ama cowok pisah meja..wakakakaka…

Sebuah post kecil dengan isi sederhana

November 6th, 2008 by chrisvader

Melbourne jadi panas, tapi hari ini sempat gerimis, bikin gua basah.

Di atas langit masih ada WC, sampai saat tadi gw bangun tidur, WC itu masih ada dan masih berair.

Tapi perubahan selalu ada. There will always be a change, in my life, and the world, and the sky as well. There will be a time when there will be no longer a toilet above the skies. There will be a time when my friends, and me, will step into a bigger world and begin our life as mature persons, ready to face the real challenge of life.

Some people told me (or maybe just one person?) that friends are not to be trusted because they can hurt you the most, as they will know you inside out.

Well, to be honest, to hell with that statement . Not to the sea (ke laut aja). The sea is made of water, salt, fish, prawn, blowfish, turtle, squids, octopuses, shells, seaweed, and abalones.  Let’s not talk about oceanic life here before we discuss how hard a shell is.

I’m just glad I have  friends who held my hand when I was about to fall into another pit of dung.

And they’re still here. Besides me, completing my life, and showing me how beautiful the world is.

I could not give anything more, but my deepest gratitude and joy. And I hope I could be so much a good friend as what you have showed me.

And with that statement, I end this post.

But before that,

Thank You

P.S. Ke IKEA tgl 11 ya,.

Ketika Dirimu Merasakan Toilet Di Langit-Langit

September 23rd, 2008 by chrisvader

Maka engkau akan sadar dan terbukalah pikiranmu, bahwa sesungguhnya, diatas langit masih ada WC.

Belajar Bersyukur

August 15th, 2008 by chrisvader

Bukan hal yang mudah, namun harus dimulai dari hal yang kecil-kecil dulu…

Bersyukur dalam hal ini, itu, dan sana sini.

Tampaknya perlu juga gw bersyukur kepada Tuhan atas semua pengalaman yang gw alami sedari gw membuka mata gw di dunia ini, 22 Desember 1988 jam 2 siang (kayaknya).. sampe hari ini 16 Agustus 2008 jam 2.26 siang disaat gw lagi bingung ngerjain assignment.

Pengalaman ada dua macam, ada yang menyenangkan, ada yang buruk/menyedihkan. Hidup isinya cuma dua macam itu, hubungan gw yg baru berakhir juga, memiliki keduanya.. dua macam pengalaman. Baik dan sedih. Putih, dan hitam.

Walaupun ada 2 macam pengalaman, tujuan dari pengalaman hanya satu, yaitu untuk membentuk diri sendiri. Yah, mungkin diri gw udah berbentuk seperti cangkang, atau donat, atau kucing, atau bebek, atau kudanil, atau juga burung hantu. Tapi apapun bentuk gw, pengalaman yg telah gw alami adalah hal-hal yang sudah selayaknya gw alami dan gw jalani. Ada hal-hal yang berakhir dan gw akhiri, dan ada juga hal-hal yang dimulai dan gw mulai.

Setidaknya gw udah belajar untuk ambil keputusan bagi kebaikan diri gw sendiri dan orang lain….putting aside twisted logic and arguments. Even though in the end gw ngerasa, hanya sedikit kebahagiaan yang bisa gw beri bagi orang lain, setidaknya gw pernah memberi kebahagiaan bagi siapapun yang merasa bahagia.

I think that is what I was thinking 3 years ago when I was still in high school in 2005.

I had to start and stop things which were happening in my life, because there are times we need to.

I still sometimes think that thinking of self-happiness is wrong….that I need to put all I have for other people’s happiness…

Yea, I’m confused. it’s still 1500 words to go from 2500. Due in wednesday 10.30.. HRM essay. Wish me luck.

Behold : Mr/Mrs Cat

August 13th, 2008 by chrisvader

Yesterday I was about to enter my house when a cute cat approached me and started to walk around me like it was a kid’s play. I also got followed by a cat last sunday but I think this one’s different.

The problem is, I don’t want the cat to enter my house. Why? Because I fear that the cat would jump straight away to the trash and make a mess. But the cat was so persistent it keeps following me like I’m the king of tigers or something. And then I was in front of my door, unlocking it.

I managed to get inside after I threw a 5 cents (which I picked up already) somewhere quite far, so the cat would get distracted and chase it.

It did, fortunately, and I went in.

What surprised me was, the cat went back and it sat down in front of the door, yelling "meow" so loud I could hear it from my room. I thought it would leave in a short time but it stayed there for like 20 minutes.

I decided to give the cat some snacks. Wish I had taken some photos, the cat was so cute…

The cat left after it finished eating… I guess it was hungry.

Platinum Smile?

May 10th, 2008 by chrisvader

A song by Riyu Kosaka. A good one, but that’s not the main point of this post, LOL.

I have stopped thinking negatively of myself and now I am trying to balance my mind. I can only hope that I can withstand the upcoming challenges. I’ve just realized that I am not as strong as I predicted before, but I guess I’m strong and patient enough to stand on my own two feet against all challenges.

Yea, unimportant post, but I suppose I’m not the only one who has an unexplained depression.

One or Two Quick Note(s)

May 8th, 2008 by chrisvader

The first note is obvious : My imagination, inspiration, and idea are screwed. The novel is once again put on hold, and there’s just basically nothing, nothing comes up to my mind. Even worse, assignments have been taking up my time and I have to take my time to study as well.

On the second note :

Yea, I’ve been silently depressed by unclear things for the past few days.. You guys might have read the "Internal Explosion (Ledakan Internal)" from here (if you haven’t, that doesn’t matter). Well, I can pretty much sums up myself that I have imploded. Reverse explosion. Whatever you call it, but that is the truth of what is happening.

Everyone gets depressed, everyone gets stressed once in a while, but I fear that I’m going bipolar now, going high and low at the very same time. It’s confusing and tiresome.

Not sure if this blog is important though, I just want to write something out of my  mind before everything’s too late. Thanks FS blog for hosting this thing anyway, lulz. If someone reads this, thanks to you as well.

November 25th, 2007 by chrisvader

Ledakan internal disebabkan oleh bertubrukannya dua buah keinginan dan dua buah perasaan yang bertolak belakang sehingga mengakibatkan sebuah bola api mematikan yang menelan apa saja yang bisa ditelan.

Ledakan Internal ini berakibat buruk kepada pemilik perasaan karena dirinya runtuh ditelan bola api itu.

Sebagai manusia ,kita pasti memiliki banyak pengalaman tentang manusia dan bagaimana manusia memiliki dinamika yang begitu kompleks, sehingga hal yang paling batu pun dapat di luluhkan dengan bermodal akal budi dan perasaan manusia yang begitu dalam, melebihi segala makhluk.

Namun, apakah korelasinya dengan ledakan internal?

Bayangkan jika anda dihadapkan dengan sebuah situasi dimana anda harus memilih diantara dua hal yang begitu penting. Nah, ledakan internal ada di situ. Begitu juga ketika anda harus membuat keputusan dimana anda akan kehilangan sesuatu namun anda akan memperoleh sesuatu yang lain.  Atau misalkan, maukah anda kehilangan  2 hal demi 1 hal ,atau 1 hal demi 2 hal dengan konsekwensinya? Terkadang bisa 2 hal atas 3 hal, atau 3 hal atas 2 hal, dan tidak pernah ada sesuatu yang enak dalam memilih. Kalau disuruh memilih punya rumah mewah atau mobil mewah?  Ga bisa punya dua-duanya, tapi pilihannya asik semua. Mantap kan? Tapi tetap aja cuma dapat satu. Itulah inti dari memilih.

Kalau kita milih masuk surga atau neraka, so pasti milih masuk surga. Konsekwensinya? Ya kita harus benar-benar berbuat baik dan sesuai dengan kehendak Tuhan. Dan itu ga gampang. Beberapa kali kita bohong dalam satu hari, untuk menyelamatkan diri kita dari sesuatu yang ga seberapa dibandingkan dilempar ke neraka? Berapa kali juga kita bohong terhadap diri sendiri, berpikir bahwa perasaaan kita begini padahal begitu? Berbohong bahwa kita setuju padahal tidak setuju tapi harus berbohong demi sesuatu, dsb.  Penyangkalan atas diri sendiri dalam taraf yang merugikan. Hal-hal kecil yang dilakukan setiap hari sebenarnya udah mencemarkan diri sendiri.

Milih masuk neraka dan jadi jahat total? Ya ga gampang juga. Sebagai manusia, kita masih punya hati untuk berbuat baik. Kalau Hitler aja bisa mencintai, kenapa kita sebagai orang biasa ga bisa? Penjahat kelas kakap aja masih mau mikirin keluarganya, dan ga bakal ngorbanin keluarganya. Dan kalau anda termasuk orang yang pada awalnya memang baik hati, selama anda masih punya suara hati, maka niat jahat pun susah munculnya. Kenapa? Karena perasaan ga enak dari conscience kita. Kalau conscience kita udah corrupt gara2 kita terlalu banyak bikin excuse akan kesalahan kita, ya itu urusan kita. Tapi masuk neraka pun juga ga segampang itu.

Jadi, mikirin mati aja masih ada 2 pilihan (2 1/2 buat orang Katolik , plus api penyucian),apalagi ketika hidup dimana pilihan ada beribu, dan masing-masing pilihan kadang memiliki batas-batas yang hanya setipis kertas dibandingkan pilihan lainnya. Misalkan, pilih jalan sama Cynthia apa Cindy? Nah, hal ini kadang terlihat simple, namun kalau ditelusuri, ada hal lebih kompleks.

Cynthia itu cantik dan pintar, juga kalem dan dewasa. Orang tuanya cukup kolot dan sulit percaya terhadap cowok-cowok, karena mereka tahu anak perempuan mereka cantik, jadi ya, wajar aja lah. Hobinya nyanyi, ikut vocal group, dan hal-hal yang religius (btw dia seiman sama elo)

Cindy tidak secantik itu, tapi dia classy dan berselera tinggi. Agak galak, tapi lebih keibuan dan rada care gitu deh. Orang tuanya agak aneh, tapi lebih santai. Hobinya musik klasik dan literatur.

Nah, anggaplah ngajak jalan ini adalah start awal anda untuk memulai suatu hubungan. Mau pilih yang mana? Preferensi masing-masing akan sangat berperan. Pandangan ke depan juga akan berperan. Bahkan, pilihan anda di awal ini akan sangat menentukan masa depan elo sendiri.

Ledakan Internal. Tidak bisa dihindari, tidak bisa dipungkiri. Hanya bisa dimaklumi dan diatasi dengan kesabaran.

1 -8 Posted

October 12th, 2007 by chrisvader

Enjoy Part I until Part VIII, revised edition, with some minor changes and the language is now a little bit better than before./.. I tried using some more suitable phrases for some parts of the story ^_^

http://jedirider777.wordpress.com/

Say hello to the new blog host

September 5th, 2007 by chrisvader

Ave

After this post, I will be no longer using my FS blog to post my stories.

All stories will be moved to jedirider777.wordpress.com to make things easier. That blog is dedicated for my story (which hopefully will reach the ending by the end of this year, I will be writing after all these assignments have been dealt with)

All story-related updates will be posted here, including the URL.

What will happen to my friendster blog? I will post random ramblings here. Anything but the story.

Anyway, I wait for your inputs and comments for this particular executive decision =)…

note : wordpress IS better than Friendster Blog, but then, no one will be notified of my blog updates at all if I just simply move to WordPress =( 

Chris/Audry